Monday, May 05, 2008

Another one of these again already

For another example of celebirty silliness in the name of Barack Obama, check out Tom Hanks' MySpace endorsement video. This one's notable for actually being articulate and amusingly self-satirical in parts. But that doesn't mean it isn't ultimately silly.

First, Hanks starts off by telling us that Barack Obama would make a great president because he's black, and black people used to only count for 3/5th of a person here. Erm, sure, and homosexuality used to be an official psychological disease, so does that mean every time a homosexual is a shrink it's a stand-up-and-cheer moment for the profession? Or, wait, I got it, women didn't used to be able to vote, so it's like a minor miracle when voting officials let them in the booth, right? Oh, oh, and Greece used to be the cradle of civilization - so now every time a Greek dude does something stupid it's a sign of just how far everyone's come.

Oh, wait, no, just a minute, Hanks doesn't want you to think that he's voting for Obama just because he's black. 'Cause that would be, you know (hushed tone) racist. So we're told that he isn't voting for Barack Obama because he wants to break down barriers, but because Obama is ... wait for it ... a man of vision who will unify us.


WHAT is this great vision that Obama has that everyone's so keen on? Let's see ... um ... so far it seems to be gun control, talking to the Iranians, an expensive and ineffective national healthcare system, a program of wasteful foreign aid spending, and a $4000 bonus for getting that college education that's meant to be in your employment interests anyway. See, in addition to benefiting your own future by not having to wait tables forever, you also get ... cha-CHING! ... $4000. Lucky you.

This is "vision," is it? Dang it, I think I might have been using the word wrong. (Maybe I should get some of this education I've been hearing so much about.)

And then Obama's gonna be the next FDR. And Harry Truman. And JFK. And Ronald Reagan, for good measure, because we want to include some Republicans too. So he's the "national greatness" candidate. And so apparently he's gonna - prolong the current recession, chunk out the Constitution and hand down Supreme Court decisions directly, start a pointless and unpopular war for no reason that he doesn't have the balls to finish, sell out some allies, and then get shot by the mob. Great. Let's vote for that guy!

Actually, it will be a good deal better than that because Obama's gonna be a "seismic shift in history," the same way that it was a seismic shift in history when George Washington handed power over to John Adams, and it was the first time ever that that happened without it being a family connection or there being a war or something. THAT's what it's gonna be like when Barack Obama takes power from George W. Bush. The WHOLE FREAKING WORLD will be different! FOREVER!

I can't make this stuff up. Go watch and see for yourself and marvel at the sheer ridiculousness.


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